Restart

Back from the vacation, right back to reality.

The past two weeks have gone by in a flash. And before I know it, I'm starting on a new journey tomorrow.

I have been at my current job for the past four and a half years. In fact, not even halfway through this journey, I was already feeling restless. I guess it is common for Gen Y-ers to feel this way, and I'm sure those around my age can understand what I mean. It is not like my job is horrible or anything, rather, it is a pretty cushy job in fact - it is stable, pays relatively well, the hours are good and the staff benefits are also pretty decent. Just that, there is just something lacking - passion.

I mean, take a moment to reflect on the saying "Find a job you like, and you would never have to work a single day of your life". How many people can actually raise their hand and say they did it? I really admire and respect those who really work hard to achieve their passions. But I guess I am practical in some sense that I value a more stable income over doing what I really love, so I can't really complain about not finding a job that I love.

I had applied for a job transfer a (long) while ago, and it was finally approved w.e.f this mid-month. Colleagues have been asking about how I feel regarding the transfer, and all I can say in reply was - I have mixed feelings about it. I am excited for a change (partly because I really need it and I was the one who had sought for change), but yet at the same time, I am apprehensive about it ("Omg I need to start from scratch again. What if the new place is not as what I had imagined?").

I will certainly miss certain things about my current work place - the bantering with my colleagues; working on new projects and gaining new knowledge from the people around me; the recreational club with the ktv rooms, gym and foosball table; lunch hour Insanity sessions; solo lunch-time (aka me-time) jogs and so on.

On the other hand, I am also quite ready to move on to a new environment. Some things have happened recently that made me quite down. To trust, yet not be trusted - it is quite depressing, and hurtful in some way. I am weary of all the negative feelings I had been feeling and it was a little tiring to put up a smiling front, yet feel so in the dumps at the same time on a day to day basis. Was talking about it to a friend, and she shared this quote with me - "You will end up disappointed if you go through life thinking people will do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as yours." I can really relate to that statement.

The past four years have been bittersweet. I have learnt so much about myself. That I have grown in terms of learning to be more sociable. That I can please people, but not everyone. That not everyone is who they appear to be. That I have grown to be more cynical about trusting people and of things said at face value at the same time.

My advice to myself from here moving forth would be - Don't dwell too much over the past, for it does not bring much to the future. Learn from it, and move on.

Here's to a brand new restart.

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Every new beginning comes from some other new beginning's end.